How to say ‘no’

Sometimes saying "no" can be challenging. You might feel a need or desire to comply even though you are unable to or don't want to. For example, you might say yes to avoid appearing disagreeable, hurting the other party's feelings or simply because “yes” is your default response. However, your ability to turn down requests is vital to setting boundaries, avoiding burnout and improving self-confidence.

How do you do politely and professionally say no and give yourself greater autonomy over your life?

  • Be clear with your response. While providing an ambiguous answer might feel easier than outright rejection, ultimately, this leads to confusion. Instead of saying "maybe" or "I don't think so," be assertive with your answer. Make sure whoever is asking you the question understands you mean no.

  • Explain why. It's OK to say "no" without a reason, but giving an explanation can help soften the blow. Keep it short and simple while letting the other person know that you understand the importance of the request.

  • Cushion the response with kindness. To decrease some of the discomfort that can come with saying no, give the recipient a compliment or a few kind words. You can even acknowledge that declining their request is difficult, but that, unfortunately, you must do so.

  • Offer an alternative. Are you able to fulfill the request at another time? Do you know someone else who might be able to help? If you can share other resources and options with the recipient, this allows you an opportunity to be helpful while maintaining your boundaries.

Examples

Use some of these responses as a good starting point when it comes to saying “no.”

  • "This sounds like a great opportunity, but I have to pass. Thank you for considering me!"

  • "Thanks for trusting me with this request! Unfortunately, I'll need to decline, but I know a friend who might be able to help."

  • "That sounds like a lot of fun, but I have a lot going on right now, so I will be unable to make it."

  • "No, sorry. I need to prioritize my (family, career, etc.) right now." 

  • "Thank you so much for asking. While it’s not something I’d like to do, I'm honored you asked." 

Learning to say no takes practice, but doing so is often necessary for your wellbeing.